...And By "Rise," What I Mean Is...

So I'm reading this book, and you know, it's pretty good or whatever. Stonewall is kicking some butt, Abraham Lincoln is being a crazy Commie, and General Custer is having gross sex with a redheaded barmaid. Ahhhh whaaaaaa.

It's pretty much an adventure/war/historical fiction book, but every 100 pages or so, Harry (it is absolutely necessary to click on that link) launches into a two page sex scene featuring your favorite historical figures. So far, Mark Twain has had timid sex with his wife, the details of which are omitted here because they are totally grossout country. Then there's General Custer. Who's into some freaky S&M stuff, I tell you what. *Shudder*. Didn't really need to know that Custer takes pride in his markmanship with things other than his rifle (paraphrased).

We learn about the things you might touch or hold during intercourse, and the state of certain hidden spaces on the human anatomy. For instance, whether they are "damp" or not.


I'll never look at this picture the same way again.

All I can say is please God, not Lincoln.